Photograph by Marcell Nimfuhr. (Please let me know if you'd rather I not leave these up here, Marcell!)

Oh, my heart is a little broken over missing Robert Hass reading at UMMA yesterday. He is one of my very favorites. I even got out my old copy of Praise to lend to Katie after our late-night giddy return to e.e. cummings a few weeks ago.

(Late-night Monday edit: Oh, Marta, remember reading "Meditation at Lagunitas" aloud to one another with Ross, over and over again, when we were all ailing and huddling around together on the beds in our room in Spiti?

[It was Kaza, wasn't it? Where I hung on the shoulders of you both, and you dragged me, complaining the whole way, down the hill into the valley to the hospital, to get me medicine for my intestinal bug, only for us to discover a week later that I'd been taking sulfa drugs that gave me hives, and for Ross to discover a few months later, that the mangoes you brought me for comfort everyday were only further contributing to the allergy!? Those were the good old days, I tell you. The good old days of riding on a tractor to get between villages, drawing our tupattas over our mouths and noses to filter the dust, then taking turns racing to the toilet for our assorted ailments. . .] And then there was the night you went off on your date and the Scandinavian/Korean Christian Buddhist wooed me from below the wall where I was sitting and singing by myself, and gave me the book Living Buddha, Living Christ that I still can't quite let go of, though I've never quite read it either. . . Oh, how I miss being young, sometimes.)

Photograph by Marcell Nimfuhr.

Fitting, by the way. . . I'm the Hermit today. I wish I could hide away for a few more days. I think I could finally get all my work done if I could just have a respite from the social and not have to prepare a face to meet the faces that I meet...

I'm putting off even writing to and calling people I love. Yeah, I think that "I" in the Myers-Briggs from years ago probably still holds, even if I do flirt more than anybody you know. :P

A half year of bad hair days

Bah. I miss my old haircut. And my life in Budapest. And my fabulous friends there.

Just blog-surfed my way to Ingrid Michaelson. Like the sound. I really do love most of the music on Grey's Anatomy, so that caught my attention, when I noticed that her songs been featured there. (It's hilarious, too, how many people seem to be devoted to documenting who's being played there It's proven handy to me, though, because it's ultimately what got me hooked on fabulous, fabulous Regina Spektor.) Ingrid Michaelson has a really freaky clown video though. Clown romance. Eep.



My head-fog is very slow in clearing the past couple days. My students yesterday raked me over the coals with questions about their papers, and I still felt rather bewildered at 3:00.

Interesting and appropriate, my tarot card of the day according to Facebook:

(The Fool desires to achieve great things in life, but does not always anticipate the hard work required. Full of curiosity and searching for answers, the Fool symbolizes a new beginning and endless optimism. He must be careful in the decisions he makes, as his lack of experience is often a hindrance. While others may avoid taking on insurmountable odds, The Fool will attempt to accomplish near impossible goals with almost reckless abandon.)

Oh, God. . .

can't sleep can't sleep can't sleep. ugh. got an important meeting in the morning . . . need to prepare for it . . . but wanted to sleep first . . . can't sleep can't sleep can't sleep

. . .


Might as well look at my tarot reading from the other day. I discovered an online spot where you can get free readings on the Rider-Waite deck. This is a Celtic Cross spread. Typically, you enter the practice of a reading with a question in mind. In case you think I'm some crazy California hippie girl all of a sudden, since I'm talking about tarot, I should probably explain that I don't take tarot to be a source of literal psychic reading of the future, but rather a beneficial analytic tool for thinking metaphorically about one's life and journey in a broader sense. That said, though, I don't dismiss its mysticism entirely. I have to say, this reading resonated in quite compelling ways with what I was wondering about.

The Significator The Significator represents you and your current state of being.
	The King of Wands Passionate, a spry body and mind, honesty and friendliness.
The Crossing Card The Crossing Card denotes that which opposes or influences you.
	Seven of Cups Deception, an overactive imagination, and the illusion of success. Strengths are not consolidated to work as one.
The Foundation card The Foundation card addresses the origin of your question.
	Five of Pentacles Poverty and unemployment are possible. Possessions may be lost. A troubled soul is likely.
The Recent Past The Recent Past represents past events and concerns.
	The Hanged Man Reversed The card of false prophecy and time wasted. The reversed Hanged Man represents a preoccupation with the worldly and wasted energy.
The Crown The Crown addresses issues that are significant in the present or may come to pass in the future. This card foretells future events which you may or may not occur, depending upon how you respond to the present situation.
	The Six of Wands Reversed Success may be delayed. Be wary of accomplished enemies.
The Future The Future depicts that which lies ahead.
	Knight of Cups Reversed Scrutinize all ventures and deals carefully. Lies, laziness and underhandedness are possible.
Emotions Emotions card signifies the current state of your emotional self.
	Nine of Cups Reversed Unfulfilled wishes, bad health and deprivation are possible.
External Forces represents the influence of others in your life as well as trends in your relationships with others.
	Eight of Pentacles Reversed Possible failure. Vanity and underhandedness must be watched for. Skills may be misused.
Hopes and Desires Hopes and Desires stands for the hopes and desires you have for the outcome of your question.
	Seven of Swords Plans may fail. Distrust and dishonesty are possible. Success will not be complete.
The Outcome The Outcome the ultimate outcome your question. Remember the future is not predetermined. Interpret this card in the context of the entire reading and as an indicator of the path you are currently on, but not bound to. reading.
	The Lovers The drawing of two forces together, choices, temptations. The fight between the sacred and the secular. Accord of the inner and worldly self.